Expectations In Life …

Expectations in life can be a roller coaster ride.  A series of ups and downs and twists and turns.  Sometimes you are upside down and other times you are plummeting straight towards the ground.

There are many religions in the world that teach transcendental meditation as a way of emptying oneself or removing all expectations from ones life.  However, while proclaiming this is the path to fulfilment or completeness, they do little to explain what that state is when achieved, and why it is to be desired.

For the true atheist there is no good way to manage expectations.  Since this life is all there is, you either go for the gold or you do not.  Either way, you are bound to be disappointed at some point in time.  But it is kind of shallow since whatever your expectations are, they are temporal in the here and now.  The true atheist can only be happy or sad in the present moment and is in a constant pursuit of the next stage of happiness.

In reality, the true atheist is not seeking the betterment of others because they desire the well being of the other person, but rather because by helping (or perceiving to help) the other person they themselves experience some type of satisfaction or feeling of accomplishment.  But why is that?  Why does generosity or kindness to another bring a sense of fulfilment to the person offering that kindness?

For the theist the management of expectations and the inequities in life are a much different matter.  The theist should realize that they are part of a much grander plan and that the Master (God) is the architect of that plan.  And for the Christian specifically, they should realize that the grander plan has many different forces at work within it.

I believe that a majority of stress and anxiety people experience in their lives is due to mismanaged expectations.  Mismanaged expectations lead to the roller coaster ride we experience when we find ourselves in the middle of situations we did not plan for, or places that we believe to be unfair, or a condition outside of our control.  And it is that roller coaster ride that leads to the stress and anxiety within our lives.  And that has a devastating effect on us spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

Jesus Christ said it like this:

^“7 And he put forth a parable to those which were bidden, when he marked how they chose out the chief rooms; saying unto them.  ⁸ When thou art bidden of any man to a wedding, sit not down in the highest room; lest a more honourable man than thou be bidden of him;  ⁹ And he that bade thee and him come and say to thee, Give this man place; and thou begin with shame to take the lowest room.  ¹⁰ But when thou art bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room; that when he that bade thee cometh, he may say unto thee, Friend, go up higher: then shalt thou have worship in the presence of them that sit at meat with thee.  ¹¹ For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.  ¹² Then said he also to him that bade him, When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee.  ¹³ But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind:  ¹⁴ And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just.”  (Luke 14:7-14)

But Jesus was not telling us we should not be without hope, rather he was telling us that  we should not assume that place which we are not offered and we should manage our expectations.

Everyone wants to sit at the head of the table.  The problem with the head of the table is there are limited seats of honor.  If every seat is the seat of honor then we should have no expectations at all.  However since every seat is not the seat of honor (nor can they be), we should manage our desires and seek the lower seat until asked by the Master to move to the head of the table.

This is contrary to the thinking of the world today.  Everyone wants the best that life has to offer.  Some would view Jesus’s teachings on this point as that of a defeatist attitude or a meek and underwhelming person.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

It is equally as dangerous to attempt to manipulate the system.  If you sit at the lowest place for the express purpose of gaining the Master’s attention and then you are passed over, you run the risk of becoming angry because you were not noticed.

It is not how you play the game, it is where you heart is at within the game.  A right heart will manage expectations appropriately and as such will not be offended sitting at the lowest place or the highest.  A right heart will stay in tune with the Master desiring his will and to serve him completely.  A right heart will avoid stress and anxiety in life not by attempting to empty oneself, but rather by putting oneself into a right relationship with God.

I will be the first to admit that this is one of the more difficult lessons in life.  And one that I sincerely wish God would teach me more about.  It is hard not to want to sit at a higher place at the table.  Even those that have no desire to sit at the head of the table struggle to manage expectations in life.

But those that do achieve (even on some small level) to place themselves into a right relationship with God have a great reward to look forward to.  It was this same Jesus which also said:

^“29 And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.  ³⁰ But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.”  (Matthew 19:29-30)

There are going to be quite a few surprised people in the new life when they learn that their place is not what they thought it was going to be.

So what are your expectations in life?  Mine are having a right relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.