Life / Religion / Philosophy / Science / Polictics

Tag: Hate

  • Are You A Lover or A Fighter?

    In 1982 Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson made a very poignant statement in this song.  In the song Michael tells Paul that he is a Lover, not a Fighter.  Thereby setting up the premise that, at least when it comes to the love of a woman, you are either a lover or a fighter.  Of course this might beg the question: “Are you not willing to fight for those things you love?”  Certainly the WWII generation had a better understanding of fighting for love of country.  A concept, I’d dare say that has been lost on most today.

    We have been permeated in our cultures around the world today of these concepts, that if you are one thing then you cannot be another.  When in reality it is not quite so stark a separation.  You actually CAN be a lover and fighter at exactly the same time.  Today I’d like to address one of these either OR’s that I’ve already addressed in this earlier post.  And that is “Are you a Lover or a Hater?”  I know I’ve stated my position on this in the past, but it is an important point for many different reasons and it is a topic that is important because it affords a foundation for many other understandings.

    We seem to have this general understanding in societies around the world that you either love someone or something, or else you hate them (or it).  If you look them up in a thesaurus, you will even find that they are antonyms of each other (as is found here and here).  The idea is that they are opposite concepts of each other and are mutually exclusive of each other.  You either love, or you hate, but you cannot do both.

    We tend to believe this despite the mountain of evidence to the contrary around us.  Consider love of country.  As much as you probably love your country, there are probably some things you hate about it as well.  You love your country, but you hate it as well.  We tend to assign degrees of strength to one concept or another such that one side or the other wins.  For example, if you mostly love you country, even though there are a few things you hate about it, you would say you love your country when asked.  And we even apply degrees of love to those objects we love.  I love my country, but l also love my wife’s country.  I just love my country the most.

    Rather than considering the two concepts as complimentary forces, and in static degrees, we instead break them apart, make them competing forces, and add varying degrees of strength to them.  This does us a great disservice in understanding so many other Spiritual concepts.

    For example, the Bible states that God is Love.  One might then conclude that the opposite of God is then hate.  Of course you are screaming at your screen right now that I’ve made a false premise.  But we are logically carrying the thought forward, are we not?  If I am to believe that the opposite of Love is Hate, and then believe that God is Love, isn’t the opposite of God then Hate?  The logic is not quite so convoluted as you might think, except for the fact that we know that (1) the opposite of God is that which is anti-God, generally Satan and his evil forces, and (2) that God does indeed hate.

    But we don’t have to twist the logic to prove the premise to ourselves.  We only need to remove the degrees of strength we apply to love and hate.  If I say I love my country without any degree of strength, then I absolutely love my country.  I don’t have to say I mostly love my country EXCEPT for this grievance or that.  I don’t have to say I mostly love my wife EXCEPT for these minor annoyances.  No.  I love my country and I love my wife.

    But at the exact same time I hate where my country is headed, as a society.  And if I remove the degree of strength, then I absolutely hate my country.  So I don’t have to flip my argument around and say I hate my country EXCEPT for these things over here.  I just simply hate my country.

    In other words, Love and Hate actually do act as complimentary forces.  As to their degrees of strength, let me ask you this: “Does God love me more than he loves you?”  I don’t think so.  “Does God love you more than he does your parents?”  Once again, I don’t think so.  “Does God hate your sin more than he hates my sin?”  No.  Of course not.  “Does God hate the sins of all your friends more than he hates your sin?”  No, God loves (because he IS Love) and God hates (because he cannot stand to be in the presence of Sin), and each are equal parts.

    And with this simple understanding, we now have Tough Love explained.  I never have been a fan of that phrase ever since it has been introduced.  Love has always been tough.  Love has never been weak.  And (so-called) Tough Love is some weak philosophical attempt of mankind to resolve the conflict within themselves that they absolutely love someone, but hate the destructive behavior they are engaged in at the same time.  Well how do you think God feels?  He loves us (he created us in his image).  He absolutely Loves us.  And yet he hates our sin.  He most assuredly, absolutely hates our sin.  But you have never, ever, once, heard God say that he needs to employ Tough Love.  Because his love is absolute, and his hatred is absolute.

    We don’t need to sit around and come up with silly slogans like “Make Love, Not War“.  We simply need to let our love be Love, and our hate be Hate.  And let that be the balance and the guide to rightly dividing good and evil within our lives.

  • What Are You Addicted To?

    You may have noticed that the vast majority of my blog posts are titled with, or start out with, a question.  This is simply because when you study the pillars of Religion, Politics, Science, Philosophy, etc. you generally start with a premise which you then seek to disprove or prove.   When you state your premise (your proposition) it is usually best to phrase it in the form of a question (see definition #2) in order to generate interactive thought.  It also invites a response from your audience asking them to participate in the debate with you.

    I start out with this bit of rather obvious understanding because sometimes, despite ones best intentions, some questions may still come across as offensive to your audience which, in some cases, will immediately put them on the defensive.  And that is the last thing I wish to have happen with this particular post because I would, literally, like to challenge (almost) all of the conventional wisdom out there on addiction and would urge you to consider it carefully.

    Your first response to my title question might be “Why nothing!  I have no addictions!”  And I certainly understand why you might answer this way.  Given how we have come to define, understand, and treat addictions the world over.  But I’d like to propose a different world view, one that just might get you to rethink whether you are addicted to something or not.

    Addictions come in all forms, shapes, and sizes.  We typically think of the “top five” and tend to lump everything together with them and exclude everything else.  Probably the number one or number two thought that comes to everyone’s mind when I say addiction is either alcohol or drugs.  And certainly no one should disagree that these substances are addictive.  Alcoholism has been around almost since the beginning of time.  According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism nearly 16.6 million people in the United States suffer from Alcohol Use Disorders (AUD).

    I trust you will grant me the fact that I could come up with statistics on most (or all) of the common addictions and several of the ones you might believe are questionable as well.  For drug abuse statistics in the U.S., you might check the National Institute on Drug Abuse.  I am not discussing alcohol or drugs, but rather addictions.  These are just common and well known addictions.

    We might also think of tobacco (listed on the NIH site), food, or gambling addictions to round out our top five.

    We could even get into more esoteric addictions such as sex, compulsive spending, Internet, or even video gaming addictions.  But what if I were to propose Christianity?  Have you ever known anyone addicted to Christianity?  I have.  And let’s be clear here, what we’re really talking about is a Religious disorder, someone acting in a manner they perceive their religion would prescribe or require.  Recall our definition of addiction would include anything that would cause us to habitually practice something that is repetitious to the extent to cause anxiety upon withdrawal.

    What about prayer?  Could one be addicted to prayer?  And if you were, what would be so bad about that?  After all, shouldn’t we pray all the time (I Thessalonians 5:17)?  I would submit that one can be addicted to prayer.  And that it is not a good thing.  I would even contend that we have been specifically warned against it (Matthew 6:6-8).  Praying with “vain repetitions” is a clear sign of “prayer addiction“.

    My point here is that there are addictions far more reaching and more subtle than the vast majority of the world would ever give credence to.  And not only that, they also affect every single person who walks upon this Earth.  Given enough time and effort, I would guarantee you that I could find your addiction.  And addictions are not universal either.  Whatever you find addicting, may not phase me in the least.  And my addictions may be completely boring and unfathomable to you.  Addictions, physical and psychological, are a part of all of our lives and affect all us either directly or indirectly.

    And yet with all of the self-help efforts out there, with all of the clinics, and the rehabilitation centers, and the support groups, I never hear anyone address or define addictions correctly.  It just doesn’t happen, or rarely happens such that it is hidden in the noise.

    My explanation for addictions is: that compulsive behavior that takes over our lives when we allow our lusts to surge out of control.

    Please allow me to establish a bit of a foundation here.  Because this is counter to popular thinking, and I would contend that what we have been taught most of our lives (if you are contemporary) is wrong.

    First of all let’s examine love.  Why?  Because it is going to become very important in just a moment.  If you look at the definition of love I’ve linked to, it would seem to cover Eros very well.  It is how the ancient Greeks represented sexual or erotic love.  The definition might border on Philo (Philos-adelphia), or brotherly love.  What the ancient Greeks ascribed to family bonds and close friendships.  But it certainly does not even come close to Agape (see under Origin) which is a sacrificial love as only God himself can love.

    When we think of love, we tend to believe that the opposite of love is hate.  But nothing could be further from the truth.  Where this falsehood started, I’ve been unable to determine, but somewhere in human history we came up with the idea that you either loved, or you hated, and that the two were mutually exclusive.  But this is not the case.  If you don’t believe me, simply think of someone you love (that you really, really love.  A with all your heart type of love).  Now tell me, in all honesty, that there is nothing that you hate about that person.  Some quirk, or action, some little nuance about them that just rubs you the wrong way and just drives you crazy.  You hate it (go back and look at the definition again if you have to).  And yet you just love the person.  But there are things you hate.  At exactly the same time.  Ergo, the two are not exclusive.  I can take this a step further with God.  God hates sin (Proverbs 6:16-19), and we are a sinful and wicked people (Romans 3:23), and yet God loves us (John 3:16).  God loves, and God hates, at exactly the same time.  The two are not mutually exclusive.

    But there is something that is.  And that is lust.  God does not lust.  Neither can he lust (He is, after all, God).  And isn’t it interesting the words used in the definition of lust?  Words like uncontrolled, passionate, overmastering desire, and craving.  The exact same words one might use to describe the effects of an addiction.

    God loves, but God does not lust.  The opposite of love is not hate, the opposite of love is lust.  And uncontrolled lust leads to addictions in our lives.  They are fueled by sin in the world and they are powerful and overwhelming forces.

    And there is one sure fire way to deal with addictions in your life.  Replace the lust with love.  You see, when God’s love begins to permeate your life, it pushes out the lusts which curbs the addictions.

    So, what are you addicted to?  Because I guarantee you whatever it is, (1) it is fueled by lust.  And (2) it can be overcome with love.  My prayer for you today is that you will allow God’s love to come into your life in order to drive out the lusts that fuel your addictions and in turn, make you a more balanced person for his service.